There is seriously something is wrong with me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDpimaf_Fqo 

So, not sleepy or broken, i feel good then. Nothing is wrong. Don't need to do something, i just feel happy or you know, normal. Normal that i can keep going or i do not suffer from something i have no fucking idea.

But when i am sleepy or not feeling great like i feel right now, i am suffering. I am in a great grief and misery. What is wrong with me? Why is my brain screaming to me that i have something wrong? Is this the reason why i cannot communicate with people like other ordinary, normal people or is this just a symptom? Not like it fucking matter i just need to know why. Or is it real? Is there really something is wrong with me? Why the fuck cannot i feel fucking peacefully? 

So, here are the facts: I cannot communicate with people in a healthy way? Actually as far as i know there are no futher fact. 

Oh, well there is a fact but irrelevant one: I think if it hurts enough your brain automatically suppress it. So you do not realize that you have something is wrong. Therefore you can keep living. It's a survival instinct .d Or maybe it is a survival instinct in a different way. Maybe you brain just empowers you to fight with it. 

Oh by the way, did ever told you how fucking much i love you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnPlJxet_ac